Akai Ito: Fear
by Madeline Axelle
Summary: In which Souma and Erina want different things, and they're starting to question the red string that binds them.
1. Trouble in Paradise

**A/N:** _Ok wow, never thought I'd be so nervous publishing this, but the summary is what it is. This is basically um... I'm not sure if this'll pass as a sequel, but this happens before the last part in Akai Ito.  
_

 _S/O to dearest betas MartengaPop and aominesshi. You guys have been nothing but supportive of me. So lucky to call you my sisters x_

 _Please note that English isn't my first language, and I hope you find this to your liking._

* * *

 **SOUMA**

* * *

"You look the cutest in the morning, y'know?"

"And your morning breath is worse than a garbage can."

"Hmm, guess you're the unlucky one."

He kisses her again this time, long and slow. Despite what she said about his breath, he's pleased that she willingly melts into the rhythm his lips have deliciously set down to the crook of her neck. And he loves that little grunt she let out whenever he leaves a love bite on her favorite spot.

If Erina doesn't try to escape, he's sure they'd be stuck in Souma's bed for hours. Just them. Lying down there with a little bit of making out -believe him, it's not that it hasn't happened before.

"Alright, Yukihira. Now I really need to leave."

"Aw, c'mon! Nooo." He gets a good grip of her hand when she tries to push the white blanket aside, "I know you still have two hours before you have to leave for that restaurant board meeting, right?"

"Yes, but the dress I want to wear today is back at my place. Do not force me to go to a meeting with your ugly t-shirt and a blazer once again."

 _Damn it, she and her clothes._ "Aight, how important is this meeting? 'Cause I know I can pull some strings to get ya out."

"Yukihira, you have work too! Stop trying to negotiate!"

"Fine." Souma gives her cheek a peck before sitting up, "But I really hope you think about how sucky it is not having me when you get home today. Shino's will be as packed as a can of sardines tonight."

When Souma thinks about it as he watches her clasping her bra back on, it would be so great to come home to her at his place, and maybe seeing her fall asleep on the couch with that crazy tacky soap opera still blasting on the TV screen.

"I will be fine." Her tone so ensuring (her years of client-convincing experience always does her good), "You're the one who need to get your act together."

"No, no. There's gotta be a way." Souma pauses for a moment, "What if you move all your stuff here?"

"And having me live in an empty apartment?"

"No, but we'll make my house your house too. I mean, it's not too shabby for someone who used to work at a small family diner, eh?" He brags- how can he not? It's his first purchase in London!

"What is that suppose to mean? You know paying my rent has never been an issue-"

"For fuck sake, Nakiri. Just understand what I'm saying and move in here!"

Ha- bet that beautiful weirdo did not see that one coming.

Truth be told, it comes as a surprise for him to, but saying it does feel right. Maybe it's time for them to finally move another step forward, eh?

"W-What? D-Did you just ask me to live with you?"

"Heck yeah! Think about it; we don't have to fuss over whose place we're sleeping at each night, or fight over whose kitchen equipments are better, or-"

She raises an eyebrow at that- of course she thinks it's hers and her fucking Vitamix.

"Aight, forget about that. Just think about it. Y'know you want it 'cause you can have all the snogs you want."

Despite the endless, annoying tease and cooking challenges she'd sure be getting, he knows she will love the ability to use all his t-shirts anytime she wants, and if that isn't enough, he has just a way to win her.

"And you can get the right side of the bed."

 **»»-¤-««**

It's not until the following week Erina's entire house is fully loaded into Souma's. He did expect that she will bring over a lot of stuff (that's why he cleared up some of his to make room for hers), but not at the point where it takes half of his garage just for his old living room materials.

"Well you should have known better, Yukihira. You know I've been hating that IKEA couch ever since I look at it the first time."

"Well, you sure weren't complaining those nights I pounded you there." He reminds her while popping a can of beer, "And y'know that swirly velvet couch of yours ain't no better."

"Except you always snooze like a grizzly bear on hibernation every time we watch Netflix?"

"Right, right. It's pretty damn comfy." He approaches her before putting his arm around her shoulder. "So uh… welcome home, roomie."

As he lands a peck on her crown, he knows when he inhales that minty vanilla fragrance of her hair that living with a beautiful creature such as Nakiri Erina will have a lot of challenges, but if one knows Souma, they would know that he _loves_ challenges.

And after years of denials, detours, and roadblocks, Souma is certain the rest will be a piece of cake.

"You know, I always wonder why you bought such a spacious penthouse for yourself to begin with." Erina mumbles while she leans closer to him- geez, let's hope she won't tell him off when her coat absorbs the reeking cigarette smell out of his t-shirt.

"Eh, pop's pal used to live here, so I got a good deal out of it." He explains shortly, which she responds with a nod, "Besides, wouldn't wanna have more trouble finding a new place when little Yukihiras come along, eh?"

"Hmpf. Children are such a waste of time and space."

And that to him, coming from someone he'd swim through hell for, is a knife straight to the heart- and god's way of telling Souma he hates him.

Alright, yes, Souma has always, _always_ wanted kids. Even before he was with her, and he now sort of regrets not expressing it earlier before this stage; before he'd choose her over anything (heck, he'd probably rather stop cooking than to have to chase her all over again).

"Really? Y'think so?"

"I just think that nobody would want their growing careers being hold off as such. Let alone someone like us."

 _You mean someone like you, Nakiri._ "But you know that some people actually crave for 'em, right? They would even stop whatever they're doing to raise their kids."

"Of course, but not me."

"So… you never wanna have kids?"

"I just find it unnecessary to ruin a perfectly good life."

 _And there goes another knife._

"But so do you, right? I don't see you as someone who would ever want to stop cooking for anything."

 _Oh, you have no idea._

And as if that's not enough salt added to his wound, she doesn't know that she means more than just a strength for him; she's also his weakness. The weakness that will spread through him easily like cancer that will eat out his life from inside if she's ever gone missing from him again.

He's not ruining this again. He can't lose her again. If a lie has to be told, if his feeling needs to be sacrificed for her happiness, so be it.

"No… yeah, totally."

 **»»-¤-««**

Ever since that revelation, Souma has been trying to bury it deep somewhere in his mind. He would wake up in the morning, kiss the pretty sleepy face next to him, and make her breakfast (even force her out of bed for a surprise shokugeki at times)- anything to confirm himself that it never bothers him.

He would even go out on a limb to show that he's on the same page as hers whenever he and Erina are taking a walk in the park and see a little baby in a stroller passing them by.

"Look, a baby, yikes!" He'd cringe, but making sure the mother can't hear him.

"Y-Yukihira! That is rude!" Erina would shush him. "Things like that should be kept to yourself!"

"Yeah, but y'know you and I don't want that lil demon ruining our lives, eh?"

Erina would shake her head each time these sort of thing comes out of his mouth.

But what Erina doesn't know is that Souma would actually leave the kitchen during a dinner service just to serve the dinners with babies himself. He would come over and let out one of those voices when interacting with said babies, maybe pinch their cheeks a little bit. He loves every second of it. That's how badly he wants kids.

Until the harder part comes.

"Ah, Chef Yukihira, I'm sure you would make a wonderful father one day, and Chef Nakiri would be so thrilled to have you father her future children." The mother of the baby would smile.

"Bet she will." He would answer to the irony with his nonchalant happiness, but it's when he walks back to the kitchen he'd take a long sigh and try to shake it off to proceed with the service.

Of course Erina would notice if he starts zoning out in the car after he picks her up with a worn-out face, but of course Souma never tells her anything.

"Nah, just need some sleep." He'd always lie whenever Erina asks him if something was on his mind.

Oh, if only a sleep is all it takes for her to change her mind.

 **»»-¤-««**

If one could say one thing about Souma, it is that he pretends to hide his emotion really well, and it sure has been in front of Erina. He thinks that girl hasn't been smelling anything fishy.

But all hell breaks loose the time Souma and Erina run into none other than Tsukasa Eishi at Pétrus London's re-opening night.

Now, he's not really the jealous type of a guy- it's Nakiri Erina, for crying out loud. The girl can even make a wrestler feel like a less of a man with her smart mouth, but when it comes to the white-haired bastard, Souma just can't help this unexplainable irritation inside, especially when he can only observe them by the bar.

He hates how he looks at her, and that dress she's wearing is sure not helping in keeping him away. He swears if that guy dares to move one step closer to her, this martini glass he's carrying is going to break in half.

"Your drink." Souma hands one glass to Erina before turning his attention to her unlikable companion, "Ah, Tsukasa-senpai, nice to see ya again!"

He thinks he shakes his hand a little too hard with the way he clenches his teeth slightly. "Likewise, Yukihira Souma."

"So, been having a lil' reunion, eh?"

"Oh, actually, Erina just told me she's moved into your place. Sounds like a big step for you two. Congratulations!" At Souma's cynical question, apparently Eishi takes it as an opportunity to make a joke after that obviously insincere greeting. "Soon you're going to have babies."

And as Erina is choking on that martini, Souma is mentally hitting this grandpa-haired motherfucker with a baseball bat repeatedly in his head.

"Haha, you're funny, y'know." His sarcastic tone is intentional. "So how'd you know Ramsay?"

"Well, he visited Blanc on his recent trip to Tokyo. Of course he booked in advance under his name, and I'll have you know that that kind of anxiety hadn't come in such a long time that I insisted I'd be the only one cooking everything for-"

Erina starts laughing.

"What?" Both men ask almost at the same time. Though Souma's tone leans towards the what's-so-funny kind.

"You don't even have to finish the rest of the story for me to figure out the ending. How predictable." She takes another sip of her cocktail before she continues rather excitedly, "He praised your cooking, and then somehow you engaged in a great conversation with him before he invited you here."

Yeah, for a guy who's just a representative of someone else's restaurant in this event, hearing that (especially with said guy's girlfriend to march along his parade) hurts his pride more than a little.

"Wow, Erina. I didn't realize I'm still an open book to you."

"Come on, Eishi. You always have been to everyone around you."

And for sure, this party pooper has to act all I'm-his-only-ex-so-don't-blame-me.

"To me, it's just funny that Ramsay would even have the idea to travel to Tokyo and end up eating the kind of French food he's had a million times before."

"Y-Yukihira!"

Aight, to be fair, he does deserve that spat on the chest, but he regrets nothing.

"You know, I was actually thinking the same thing as Yukihira, but I think he's heard about Blanc's unique concept in highlighting seasonal ingredients, so I think that pretty much sums it up." Eishi shrugs.

And with the long pause that makes its sudden presence, coming along with it is also Souma's stronger urge to punch him in the face.

"Well, before the situation gets more uncomfortable, I better get back to my table." Eishi turns himself around, "It's nice to see you again, Erina. You look great tonight."

The warlock may be gone, but should he really graze her upper arm right like that before he left?

If the urge was strong before, believe him; he really tries hard not to make a scene for the sake of Shino's London second Michelin star.

Though he sure does the minute they arrive home from the party when Erina calls him out on it- don't blame him. It's never really easy to keep his actual feelings for a while, especially when being triggered.

"I don't see any reason why you should act so rude towards him. We were just talking!" She says.

Oh, he has _every_ damn reason to be rude, alright:

1\. He still attempted to keep their first-name basis with his girlfriend.

2\. No Erina, some skinship isn't _just_ _talking_.

3\. Said girl actually (and irritatingly plainly) defends her ex-boyfriend. What the actual fuck?

"Yukihira, you know those don't mean anything right?"

Geez, even when being told, she still doesn't get it. "To you maybe. But you'll never know his true intentions, Nakiri."

"Why does it even matter to you? He is my ex for a reason, Yukihira, and he knows I'm with you. Why would he want anything more to do with us?"

"And you thought I'm the dense one." Souma sighs irritatedly, "I saw everything, Nakiri. The way he looked at you, the way he touched you or how he told you how great you look. Now don't tell me that bastard doesn't wanna single crap from ya because even this dense of a guy noticed!"

At this point, the blonde starts to sound irritated with the way she hastily get off the couch, "What are you even talking about?! You are overthinking this!"

"'Cause as far as I'm concerned, he's the other guy you've had feelings for!" Now fingers are pointed. Voices are raised to the point it's hard for their neighbors to not eavesdrop. "Yeah! This Mr. I-have-four-Michelin-star-restaurants, and clearly, he's the type of dude who you'd rather have kids with rather than, oh what was it again, a _plebeian_ , like me!"

"Why would I even want to have kids with him when I don't want it with you?! We've shared the same thing, Yukihira! We can live without-"

"It's just always been you, Nakiri! You!"

 _Aight now, whoa-_ Did he really just confessed?

"I-Is this why you're this insecure? Because you…"

"Yes, Erina. I want kids. I always do."

 _Well, it's too late to take it all back, ain't it?_

Of course, he's made her gape so wide that she has the need to sit back down, with her fingers tangled in her hair and all. He can see a drop of sweat appearing on her temple, and he does not like this reaction.

In fact, this shouldn't have happened at all. He knew back then if he's going to be serious with her, they have to be able to work things out- work their differences aside and put their relationship on top.

And yet, when this thing raises to the surface, why does he feel like the devil?

"W-Why did you… this fight.. This fight wasn't even about this at the first place…" She buries her face in her palms, "But then why did you have to…"

"This has been buggin' me for a while, y'know. Ever since you moved in, when you-"

"J-Just shut up for a goddamn second, Yukihira!"

And when she yells with added curse word, he knows he's fucked shit up.

"First you were yelling about Eishi because it turns out you are capable of the feeling of jealousy and insecurity, and now suddenly, out of the blue, you tell me you actually want kids when I thought we both don't- I-I don't-"

"'Kay, now you know the truth, alright." He sits down on the coffee table where he can face her. "Does it change your mind?"

Her glistening amethyst eyes look deep into his for a moment. Then she shakes her head hesitantly.

"Will you at least consider it?"

This time she just freezes, except for that single tear that escapes.

"Thought so." Souma fights to keep his head up while wiping Erina's cheek. "Look, Nakiri. I... really don't know what to do anymore."

"Neither do I."

They stay silent for what feels like eternity. With his temple collided with hers and her small shivering hands in his, he can feel the air is slowly being taken away from his painful lungs, and it intensifies each time his ears catch the sound of her sniffling nose.

A part of him wants to reach for her figure and hold it close to him. A part of him wants to try and convince her that whatever kind of stormy night runs through her mind only stays there, or how much he wants to tell her that everything will be okay as long as they got each other.

And yet he finds himself stills like he's gradually turning into a statue without much ability but to hear the sound of himself cracking to pieces when nothing comes out of her mouth. She doesn't fight for him. She never will fight for him. She will always stay guarded within herself.

Where even then on their hardest days, he would always put her first, and it breaks him even more when the feeling doesn't change now.

 ** **»»-¤-««****

 _ **(additional) a/n:** Feel like seeing more? Let me know in the review!_


	2. Rolling Dark Cloud

**ERINA**

* * *

It's no surprise to Erina when she finds his side of the bed empty the next morning, but it's because him leaving early in the morning before she wakes up is somewhat normal.

Normal, in her dictionary, means even if they're fighting the night before, he would come home the following night acting normal. He would barge in during her long bubble bath or shower time and and he would always ask her the same question:

"Had your dinner yet?"

She'd always say she has, he'd plunge in and join her in, and she almost never flies any complaint or continue the stupid fight. All they ever need is a little space for a few hours, and all is good again.

Now, it is odd that even after she's done showering and working her magic in making a late night snack with Souma's leftover Chinese takeout, right now, he still hasn't came through the door.

With another pour of Pinot Blanc, she tries to keep her thoughts positive. He usually comes home late if a scraps feast happens at Shino's or his sudden need to do an evaluation for his cooks- that's plausible, right?

But it's when her refined twist on commoners' food starts getting soggy, the clock strikes 2.30 in the morning, and her long-awaited boyfriend has yet to show up her mind starts to wonder.

 _Has she hurt him so bad?_

She doesn't need long to find out that the answer is a painful yes, because the next time she opens her eyes, the only thing greeting her beside the blinding sunlight is two separate texts sitting on her homescreen:

 _ **Going out of town**_

 _ **Take care of urself**_

»»-¤-««

She gets through that lonely morning pretty much normally- like everything is working in a perfect order. She drinks her coffee, eats the overnight oats with fresh berries while she reads the latest British Vogue before she takes a shower and go see her client.

No, she knows what Souma texted earlier. She even went through it a couple of times before deciding that he's being a coward who refuses to solve this problem and prefer to run away from it instead. To hell with him- she can get by just fine without him.

Though she should have known better; it's because everything just hasn't sunk in.

Each day that she walks outside her restaurant and not finding Souma waiting for her leaves her feeling… cold- it's indescribable, but certainly isn't right. As a week passes by, the feeling grows into something even more sorrow for her that not even partying with Alice helps.

"You're fighting with Yukihira about something stupid, aren't you?" The Danish girl asks after they dance at one of the hottest club in London, "Geez, you're lucky I'm in town."

"U-Um… " _Well, one wouldn't call it stupid._ "I guess."

"So, spill me the tea."

"I-I don't think I can tell you this, Alice."

Erina swears she sees Alice slams her white russian glass as loud as the music behind them. "Why?! Is it because it's me instead of Hishoko?"

"No, god Alice!" She signs her to calm the pain in her voice down before lowering her voice, "It's… mostly my issue."

Alice must have known better- when Erina admits it's on her end, she stops questioning further, "Well, at least you know where he is, right?"

But Erina also should have expected- when she shakes her helpless head, that Alice's signature eye roll will come her way like she's the dumbest thing that's ever stepped foot on this planet.

"Ugh, will you please stop it?!" Erina nags, obviously annoyed. "Fine! I'll text him."

"About damn time, Erina. He's probably out there somewhere dipping his chicken finger into someone else's honey mustard."

Classic Alice.

Though not even someone as strong-willed as Erina is able to refuse her cousin's request (yes, no one disagrees with her or that devil Ryo and herself have tamed 12 years ago will rise from the death), so she finds her fingers typing to him: _Where are you? Why haven't you came home?_

After she hit send, waiting for a text back isn't so hard, especially when a couple of Alice's friends join their table, but it's when she glances over to her phone and see Souma's contact photo lits up her screen she almost jumps and immediately rushes out of the club.

"Where the hell are you?!" She almost shout, not sure if she's just plain angry or it's the nightclub's fault for being a place where a phone call is impossible.

 _"I'm in Thailand. Chill."_ Souma's reply is somewhat cold at the other end.

"Bangkok?"

 _"Does it really matter?"_

Blame her for thinking that him calling means the situation is better. Guess she can only sighs at this point, "Yukihira, I'm well aware that you're upset about our situation, but wouldn't it be better if we get through this like adults instead of running away from it? You're being a child, you know."

 _"Wait, so I'm a child here? Thought you didn't want one, yet you're still looking for me."_

Now's not the time to argue, Erina. Keep it together. "Look, why don't you just come back home? Shino's needs you."

 _"Right, apparently just Shino's."_ The sarcasm in his voice is crystal clear.

"N-No, I-"

 _"Y'know what, Nakiri. I'm done."_

"What do you mean?"

 _"I'm done going through fifty feet of shit tryna talk and show it all up to you. I did that during our high school years, I did that before we actually date, and after all that crap you actually think I still have patience?"_

Those words, though being said 6,000 miles away from her ears, peel the unhealed wound inside like a burning pain all over again- he actually thinks that he was the one suffering.

"Hey! Do you think this is just all about you? Didn't you have any idea how much pain you've put me through seeing you with another girls back then?! And did you even care about my feelings for you when all you trying to do was to get my approval of your cooking?!"

He replies with nothing but the sound of him sighing a heavy breath- she thinks he probably is sucking on those little death sticks again, though it never occurs to her mind that such thing can sound so full of guilt.

But even then, tears have fallen freely from her eyes, and through trembled lips and reddened nose, Erina replies, "You don't even know that… a part of the reasons I do not want children is because… because-"

 _"'Cause you're afraid I'll treat 'em like your father did to you?"_

"No!"

 _"Then what?!"_

"I'm afraid I will!"

Silence.

She said it. She finally did. There's this strange sense of relief within her, yet another feeling of uncertainty also comes creeping along with the small sound of Souma drawing his breath in.

 _"Naki- Erina, y'know that's not gonna happen."_ Souma's tone reassuring and calming, though not powerful enough to beat the storm inside her head.

"Does it not make sense to you? With my life, my work, everything I've built up until the point where I love it more than life itself, having children would just make them suffer because their mother, besides never being there like my own, would just-" Erina swallows, wiping the endless tears off her face, "Would just slap them away if they refuse to be inside of my world and live it my way…"

 _"You really think you'd do that?"_

"I still carry Nakamura Azami's blood and genes inside me, Yukihira. I am his daughter."

In a complete irony to the current situation, she hears him cackle on the other side of the phone.

"Were you laughing at me?" Of course Erina needs to question that.

 _"Yeah sorry, it's just funny how you did all these things, rebelling against him and shit to show him that you're your own person, and yet here you are sobbing on your phone, afraid that you'll become him as a parent."_

At that, she lets out an exhale as if she doesn't care that those words will linger for a while in her mind. She doesn't even care when her legs are starting to feel the pain from her platform heels and she decides to sit down by the sidewalk, letting herself drown in her sorrow.

Summer nights are supposed to be warm, but why is tonight prickling her bone?

She's cold, and not just because she left her coat inside. She's lost, and not just because she's alone. She's not just terrified, she's also sad that her life leads her back to this point where her fears take over again.

"I- I really don't know what to say." She says wryly.

 _"Look, Nakiri, y'know I still want kids, maybe not now, but that's not gonna change in the future. And I can't change you. So that's up to you if you want to hate yourself for being someone you're not or gain a new mirror for yourself."_

The next thing she hears is a long, depressing beep before her mind processed that, despite all the almost-thrashed people lining up behind her, chattering about some drink and a cute bartender with their friends, she feels lonely.

Erina hates this. She hates it, she hates fighting over a phone call, she hates that she can't bring herself to throw her phone across the street that she starts burying her face on her knees and crying again.

Yes, she can easily come back inside and cry her eyeballs at on Alice's shoulder, but dragging her into this could sprawl things beyond her control (sometimes she hates that she can be too extra). Hisako is way too far from her that it wouldn't do anything just Facetiming her.

So that's how she finds herself stopping a cab and letting it take her to that place- the place that she knows she shouldn't go to, yet her soul yearns to keep her attached to it.

»»-¤-««

 **A/N:** _I know this isn't as long as the first chapter (and future chapters also won't be as long), but I think it's better to cut it at this point (so I can keep you guys waiting lol). I will try my best to update regularly since I have most of the chapters ready. I hope you guys enjoyed the story so far! Fill in the review section about your thoughts. Constructive and hateless comments are welcomed!_

 _Also, sending a lot of love to my betas MartengaPop and aominesshi because I can._

 _-MA_


	3. Time

**interlude**

* * *

It's how soulmates work: their hearts are beating the same beat, their minds are working in sync, and they know wherever they may be, they will always see the same sky.

Yet there are moments where, although with similar intention along with each other on their thoughts, their paths head to different directions.

And it just dawns on them as she knocked on _his_ door, and as he hangs up on _her_.

Their safe houses: _The past._

 **»»-¤-««**


	4. When Past Haunts

**EISHI**

* * *

His jaw drop as soon as he swings his door open and sees a figure that's either one of his business partner or Kobayashi Rindou.

There she is. His past. Standing behind the door of his hotel room in a sleeveless pastel pink dress with restless amethyst eyes that hopelessly looks back at him. And she's as lovely as ever.

"Hi… Erina." He greets unsurely- it still feels like he's dreaming.

"H-Hi, Eishi." Then she pauses briefly, though it feels longer for him. "I-I don't know why I'm here."

"It's alright. I didn't ask." He smiles gently. "Please come in… if you want to, of course."

Erina thanks him weakly and proceeds to sit on his couch. He really isn't prepared for this to happen. Sure, they met at an event earlier this week and caught up, but to have her sitting in his hotel room just the two of them isn't good for his heart.

"U-Um... can I get you anything to drink?" Eishi asks awkwardly.

"That'd be nice. Can I get a-"

"Scotch neat?"

"Eh?"

"It's your upset drink, remember?"

 _Oh no- why did he say that like he's still around in her life?!_

"O-Oh, I don't mean to sound like a creep, but after you and I talked during Aldini-san's wedding in Florence, I was still around the bar and your cousin spoke pretty loud." Which is not a lie. He's kind of glad now that he overheard a little bit.

"No, but I-I'm not upset, I'm just a little-"

"You can never lie to me, Erina. Your eyes tell it all." Eishi sits beside her and hands her the glass half-filled with scotch, "Did somebody hurt you?"

At that, he sees her eyes looking up to him behind the scotch glass, all covered in doubt, but he knows by the sigh Erina lets out, that she's reached her exhaustion point, "It's more complicated than that."

"Are you talking about Yukihira Souma?"

His first instinct asks, and she replies with a joyless nod. _That ungrateful bastard._

"What did he do this time?"

"No, it's-it's my…" Erina sighs again, "I think I've hurt him more than he does to me."

"And why is that?"

She takes a big gulp out of her scotch, "He wants something so bad that I badly do not. And that hurt him… and me, because I just- I couldn't bring myself to just jump into the thing he wants."

It may be his intolerance side thinking, but to him, anything that turns her into pieces of broken vase is going on his blacklist. "So you're hurting yourself… for hurting him?"

She nods again.

Yes, he is aware of his feelings for her. Yes, there are days where he just lies on his bed and his mind wanders to her or how it drives him to scroll down her Instagram account just to torture himself how he took her for granted back then. How little faith he had for her. He knew he should've fought harder that Christmas Eve to win her heart back. He even knew it wasn't his loneliness and memories of her that speaks.

And as to this point where she is at her most vulnerable state with only a few centimeters away from him, he finds himself losing control over his raging feelings for her.

"You know, you are a good person, Erina. You've always been."

When he reaches for her hand, she doesn't back away, but her response is nothing but doubtful, "That… does not make any sense to me."

"Well, the way I see you from what you've told me, is a selfless girl who… is just trying to figure things out and settling for what she really wants." Eishi caresses the knuckles of hers where their hands are intertwined, "Because you're still blooming. And if Yukihira can't see it, then he doesn't know how lucky he is to have you in his life."

She reciprocates his response with nothing but a slight pinkish tint on her cheek and a dazed, yet soft expression that make him weak in the knees resulting in an even weaker heart.

Eishi's not sure if he's hallucinating or not, but it's when her heavenly scent gets mixed with a lingering smell of scotch he feels her inching closer to his face. So when he finds himself drawing his breath in and slowly leans in, he knows Nakiri Erina will be the death of him.

But then she retracts herself by pushing his chin away. His heart drops.

"Eishi, please answer me honestly."

He gulps.

"You're still in love with me, aren't you?"

That question- That question of hers is the reason why he's all choked up, and it brings him back to the bitter reality that he himself doesn't wish to acknowledge in the first place.

"Eishi, look at me." This time, she forces him to meet her interrogating eyes. "Are you?"

And that gaze of hers tells him everything- It longs for his answer. It craves for the truth. It wants his declaration. It wants everything.

Sadly, but his heart.

"I… I don't know."

"Oh my god…" His croaky voice rises her up to her feet in frustration. "He- he's right… you are…"

Eishi decided to let the fact that her boyfriend's awareness of his feelings slide and gets hold of her upper arm instead. "Alright, I wasn't aware that it's obvious, but is it really that bad?"

"It is!" Erina releases herself from him irritatedly once again. "I- I mean, I have moved on long ago, and I'm with someone else right now. We cannot happen. Not again!"

"But if I'm willing to go all the way for you this time, and making sure of your happiness with whatever path you want to choose in life," He says, knowing well it's his last chance to fight for her, "does it change things for us?"

The look she returns him is only to confirm that his last sword is no use. It realizes him that her heart belongs to another soul but his that not even the mad storm of agony within her can shake it off.

"No…"

He saw the answer coming. He knew she's not even going to take a second glance at him even back at the party where they were conversing before, but even when the sound of his shattering heart is ringing through his ears this time, he knows it still beats for her.

So with that, he fights the sadness with a soft facade to show, "Well, I think it's only fair that it will lead to this."

"Fair? If you haven't noticed yet, this is the exact opposite of fair, Eishi!" It's almost as if she's just been electrocuted by the way she speaks, "Fair would be you wanting to work it out with me back then. Fair would be Souma wanting to work it out with me now. If you think this is fair, then you must have been-"

"I _did_ want to work it out with you, Erina! But-"

"But you had to wait until we both fall out of love?"

The flashback he has with those words is as if a bitter reminder for him that he's thrown it all away, and it leaves him wordless.

"I'm sorry, Erina. I really am…"

"It's way too late for that, don't you think?" She retorts, "I really thought that I'm finally over this… this lovesick bullshit because of how happy he makes me, but now here I am at my ex's house, ranting about my current relationship problem as if I am delusional and what I experienced was nothing but an illusion and how it's…"

Her voice is shaky. Her hands are in her hair and he swears while her lips tremor, her reddened eyes are glistening with tears that will fall anytime.

"Hey, hey, Erina, ssshh…" He pulls her into his embrace. "It's going to be alright. It is. I promise."

When she lets herself fall into his warm hug, he takes the chance to sniff her crown, letting the smooth strands of her blonde hair runs through his fingers and bids his time for this exact moment.

She is vulnerable, and he's going to let her be. Because in the end, he is the only one she runs to. No, he still doesn't like seeing her in this state, but maybe this is the best he can do.

He loves her- so he's going to let her go.

"What is wrong with me, Eishi?" She asks.

"Nothing." He whispers. "Nothing is wrong with you."

 **»»-¤-««**

 **A/N:** Ok yes, I really want to involve Eishi in the middle of this drama because he was Erina's first love/boyfriend, and who's a better person to stir up her love life better than him, eh?

What do you guys think?

And thanks to my loves MartengaPop and aominesshi for beta-ing this. Mwah!


	5. When Past Heals

**MEGUMI**

* * *

The blue-haired woman is nothing but surprised when she listens to Souma's gibberish voicemail he left her after she steps out of the shower. But she knows one thing for sure after 5 seconds into that alien-esque language she heard behind her damp hair; he is so drunk.

Having known him since the first year of high school and dated him for roughly 18 months do give her a certain edge of knowledge about the cause of his ex boyfriend slash best friend acting a certain way.

 _Is something going on between him and Nakiri-san?_

Disrupting her thought is her Italian husband going through the door of their hotel room with a familiar redhead man limping in his arms.

"Look what I found at the bar downstairs." Takumi is almost gasping for breath when he puts Souma on the couch, "Luckily I caught him before he puts his phone in the whiskey glass."

It's not the reeking smell of Jack Daniels coming from Souma that kicks her pregnancy sickness all of the sudden, but it's the pungent, rotten-fish like aroma coming from Takumi.

"D-Did he throw up on you?" Megumi tries to cover her gag.

"A little bit." Her husband sniffs his shirt in utter disgust. "I'm going to freshen up for a second. Are you going to be okay here?"

Sometimes she wonders how come Takumi shows almost either resentment or jealousy for Souma as her ex, "Yes. I'll be okay, _anata_."

After Takumi caresses the side of her face and walks through the bathroom, Megumi studies Souma's blank expression that eyes to the ceiling, wondering what kind of breakdown he's been having before he got here.

"Souma-kun?" She pokes him, but still no reaction.

A lot of questions actually are floating around in her mind: does he know she's in Phuket because of Takumi's Instagram? Why did he called her all of the sudden? Does he know she's carrying Takumi's child?

Yes, of course they're in good terms despite their tearful break up a couple of years back. She even shared a dance with him on her wedding day. They're best friends again and she couldn't ask for a better one, but something is restraining her from telling him about her pregnancy, and she cannot pinpoint why.

"I'll make you a hangover cure, okay? Just stay here for a moment."

So she heads to the somewhat dimmed kitchen and raids the fridge for some ginger and lemon, lost in her thoughts again when slicing those ingredients and wondering why-

"Yo, Tadokoro."

"AH! J-Jesus Christ PLEASE have mercy on me!" Her heart is shrieking out of her chest- thank God her fingers don't get sliced, but her breathing is sure isn't calming down any second now, "S-S-Souma-kun! You scared me!"

In normal circumstances, he'd cackle and say a meaningless sorry like it doesn't matter, but what scatters through his face is this hopelessly exhausted expression as if he's just went through a battle he lost. No- she's never seen him like this before.

Except…

.

.

 _"Isn't that the bracelet you gave to Nakiri-san when we were in 2nd grade?" She finally decided to ask, after mustering her courage up. It was the third time in a week she saw him staring at that._

 _He nodded shortly. "She gave it back to me on the graduation ball. While we're dancing, I think. Found it few weeks later though."_

 _"Why did you give her that back then, Souma-kun?"_

 _He frowned at her question. "What else? It's a friendship bracelet as a token of gratitude for her. It's your plan, remember?"_

.

.

But even now she knows, that whenever Souma acts as unusual as now, spreading her arms is all she needs to do- probably the best she _can_ do at this point. And Souma leans in and wraps his arms around her without hesitation.

Within her embrace, a hurtful sigh escapes his mouth. She doesn't need to think twice about what may be the cause of it, because even then she knew, the only one who can bring the great Yukihira Souma to his knees, is _her_.

 **»»-¤-««**

She cannot remember the last time Souma shares a piece of his deep thoughts to her (even when they were dating, he feels like a closed book to her), but now he's wearing it all out to her and Takumi, in a dimmed living room of hers.

And it may have been the effect of his excessive drinking earlier, but the Souma in front of her is weary. Shoulders are heaved with problems that he cannot find the answer to with those golden orbs that are surrounded by sad, sad dark circles. It's never been the Souma she knows.

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Souma-kun." Megumi makes sure to say it as gentle as she could, especially now that she's found out about the problem, she's left with not much to say but that.

"Whoa, how come you guys didn't tell me there's a bun in her oven?" Souma reaches over to touch her bump. Her startled self can't do anything but to glance over to her husband's face to gauge in his reaction, and she's thankful she gets herself a secure man.

"O-Oh, y-yeah we… we forgot." She panics. _Why did she say that, again?!_

Thankfully (after giving her a what-was-that nudge), Takumi backs her up, "We weren't going to tell anybody outside the family before it reaches the 5th month."

Although Souma nods understandingly at his remark, the way he caresses her belly just makes her unable to shake off the guilt in her expression.

"Oh c'mon, guys. Don't gimme that look." The redhead frowns. "I'm happy for ya."

And she feels like puking again. _Great_. "E-Eh?! Y-Yes, we know, b-but I-I just-"

"Hey, it's all good, Tadokoro. Don't worry about it." There's an agony in his smile that pangs her chest- she knows the problem affected him deeply.

"Well, I hope you and Nakiri-san can find a way out somehow." Takumi chimes in.

"Doubt it." He answers weakly. "We want different things, can't see how we go from here."

"It's unlike you to get so defeated like this. You're making me very worried." She concerns, "You do love her, right?"

When all she gets is a shrug while he sips the ginger tea she's made, she decided to pull Takumi to the side.

"Would it be alright if I speak to Souma-kun alone?"

Her request scrunches his eyebrows. She should've expected- no matter how composed a man is, such request needs to be questioned further like he's doing, "What for?"

"I only need to remind him of something. I think I know how to sort out his thoughts, i-if that's alright with you."

Takumi glances to where Souma's sitting, and back to her again. There's a glimpse of confusion- no, a wonderment in his gaze. He trusts her, and she knows it. He's the one that repaired Souma and her relationship at the first place, so it's only given that he takes hold of her hand after.

"You're a good person, _mia cara_." He kisses her knuckles, "I'll be waiting for you in the bedroom."

"I will tell you everything after this."

" _Va bene_."

After they part ways with a smile, Megumi pulls a footrest and sits in front of Souma.

"Souma-kun, now answer me honestly." She breathes, "Do you still love Nakiri-san?"

At that, he refuses to meet her gaze and shrug.

"Souma, answer me."

"I don't know, okay!" He takes a handful out of his red hair frustratedly, "Y'know how badly I want this thing, and having her not wanting the same thing as me is just… just-"

"Do you remember that time? When we were dating, and the last three months phase that you went through?" She shoots straight to the point- never having seen his ex being in such a denial turns out to be frustrating.

"What phase?"

"You zoned out a lot, Souma-kun. And around that time, you knew I noticed that you keep looking at a certain item that means something."

She knows that he remembers the hardest months of their relationship with the way he takes a deep breath. Yes- this is scratching the wounds back open, but she knows she'll regret it if she doesn't try anything for the sake of him.

" _This._ " Megumi reaches for his arm with the red string bracelet circling his wrist. "You knew back then how badly it hurt me when I realize that your heart is- no, has always been somewhere else."

"Yeah I know I was horrible as fuck, but why-"

"Souma-kun, just hear me out first." She stops him, "When we were together, I had never been happier my entire life. But even then, I also knew that your heart, your soul, always have been wrapping around Nakiri-san. I tried to deny it at times, but it hurt."

Megumi doesn't realize why she said those things, but she knows it's because she cares about him, and it keeps pouring down like summer rain after a brief pause.

"And if I keep you around, it would've felt really selfish of me if I keep you away from the one you're meant to be with, so… I knew I had to let you go."

"Well, I-I'm sorry, but I thought we-"

"O-Oh n-no! It's not about that anymore! I am completely healed and please d-do not worry!" _Great, she's making things awkward again. What a way to give out the wrong impression._ "It's just- it will hurt me more when what I've sacrificed back then didn't mean anything anymore."

"No, Tadokoro. This problem of mine ain't got nothing to do with you, aight?"

"I know, but that doesn't mean you should lie about your feelings for her, right?" Now she manages to finally silence him. "You love her, Souma-kun. You always have."

As Megumi finds his fingers fidget around the cup, she knows she's got him thinking, and an instant feeling of relief somewhat washes over her without having him saying any words in return.

There's only one thing left to say to conclude: "And now, when she needs you to change her mind the most, you left her and now you're acting as if you're having second thoughts about being with her. You know that is not the right thing to do. You are more than that, Souma-kun."

Though doesn't reach his ears, she's glad that cheeky grin is back. "Geez, Tadokoro. Why are ya always so good at shooting words straight through?"

"E-Eh?! N-No! I just want you to be happy, Souma-kun. As happy as I am with Takumi-kun. Because I do care a lot about you." Then she realizes what she said, and she panics again, "B-But like, a-as a friend o-or a brother! Please don't get the wrong-"

"Relax for once, will ya? I know. Didn't realize the fetus makes you even worse of a worrywart." Souma laughs and pat her belly. "I'm sure you and Takumi are going to be the kickass parents."

Megumi smiles at that, but then she mutters, pleading almost. "Call her, Souma-kun."

Souma takes a deep breath. Seemingly considering her idea, his sooty brows furrowed. Megumi looked at him expectantly.

But just when he's about to reach into his pocket, Souma's phone rings. And she knows when she hears loud muffle coming from the other end that shifts his expression completely, something is happening back home.

And she bets it's not going to be good for his emotion.

 **»»-¤-««**

 **A/N:** _Yayy bestie to the rescue! I hope you enjoy her POV! If you do, let me know. If you don't, let me know why (politely pls thank u). Thanks aominesshi for letting me borrow a few lines from Akai Ito's spin-off titled A Piece Of You That Was Never Mine. Please check that out! And thanks to my beta sister MartengaPop as well xx  
_

 _-MA_


	6. A Necessary Closure

**SOUMA**

* * *

" _Where the hell have you been, Yukihira?! Are you trying to rip me off?!"_

Nakiri Alice- her voice could possibly wake dead people back to live. "Whoa, whoa, chill! 'Sup with the screaming now?"

" _Do you know how much roaming costs because you decided not to answer my Facetime?! Now here I am, back in the 90s yelling at your imbecile, headless self!"_

Is she forgetting the fact that having her last name means a lot of money? "Aight, aight! It'll cost ya more the longer you are yelling at me! What d'ya need?"

" _As much as I want to bark more at you right now for leaving Erina, which you better_ _ **believe**_ _I will once I see that red hair of yours, I will get straight to point."_

"And that is…?"

" _Erina went to Eishi's hotel in London."_

His heart skips a beat, and in the worst way possible.

" _Oh! And he tried to kiss her."_

Aaaand now it's on his feet.

It's as if his sanity drops together with it when the little person in his head starts berserking through and throwing things out of the broken window. Guilt is washing over him all over again- is it his fault?

Megumi's right- he shouldn't have left her. But God has fucked him over his stupid decision and of course Erina goes straight back into his arms.

" _Mou, Yukihira! Say something! I've given you a very useful information. Don't tell me you-"_

"H-Hello? Is this Alice-san?" Megumi snatches Soma's phone from him and put her on speaker, and amidst his train of thoughts, he really doesn't care.

" _Oh? You're with Tadokoro-chan? My, my, so scandalous."_

Alice's leer triggers Megumi's nervous button once again, "E-Eh?! It's not what you think it is! W-We just happen to be in the same city and he… he came for advice! I-I'm actually carrying Takumi's baby!"

" _Gee, Tadokoro-chan! Don't worry too much. I trust you, unlike the prick that you're with."_ After a brief pause (and a whatever-you-say shrug from Souma), her tone changes to glee, " _Oh! Congratulations on the baby, by the way~!"_

"Thank you, Alice-san, but Souma-kun can't really talk right now, so umm… where did you get that information?"

" _What do you think? I followed and spied on her, duh! Mimasaka-kun isn't the only one who does it."_

"Do you know what else they talk about?"

" _Nope. They were too far from the door. My hearing device only caught muffles."_

"I see. Thank you for the news, Alice-san. I'll make sure Soma-kun flies home tonight."

" _He better be! Or else, the last thing going down his throat will be my-"_

Megumi hangs up and hands his phone back. "You don't need to hear that sentence, do you?"

"Guess not." Soma sighs frustratedly, obviously still a mess, "And guess coming back home ain't gonna change anything now."

"Don't say that. I'm sure Nakiri-san won't get back to him that easily." She pats his shoulder, "And I'm sure you know that. I've told you the bond you guys have is special."

A promising look from Megumi is all it takes for Souma to feel convinced once again when he was practically down in the dumps just a second ago. Yes- what a rollercoaster, but now, after a conversation with her, he's settled on an action. An action that isn't encouraged by her in the first place, but it somehow clicks and makes sense.

"It's time for you to go home, Souma-kun."

 **»»-¤-««**

After going through the hassle of booking a last minute ticket out of Phuket online (in his hangover state, _everything_ is a hassle), he manages to go back to his own hotel, shower, and pack his bags on time for his flight.

And at this stage, he'd wish that said flight only takes an hour max, but the frustrating bit is 6,000 miles is impossible to be traveled in an hour, unless rocket is an option.

But on the bright side, 17 hours of travelling (including a painful 3-hour layover in Bangkok that feels like forever) means he gets the chance to gather his sanity back and feeds himself with a hearty portion of pad thai. Yes- and he also manages to refuse the free champagne offered during the flight.

Though he wish he had a glass on the cab ride, as he hasn't prepared for what he's about to encounter tonight. The worst possibilities that could crush him, and it only sinks in after he knocked on the door.

"Yukihira."

"Tsukasa-senpai." Souma greets coldly. "Where's Erina?"

"Oh? I-I wouldn't know, b-but how did you know where I-"

 _Liar._ "No need to cover it up, senpai." He lets himself in. "I knew she was here."

"Yes, she was, but I really don't know where she went after she left." Eishi closes the door behind him and walks towards him. "But you shouldn't be worried. Nothing happened."

At that, he raises a brow cynically, "Nothing happened? So you didn't try to kiss my girlfriend?"

"W-Well, alright, one thing happened." Eishi waves two hands in the air, "But you can relax, Yukihira. She uh... rejected me."

"Oh." He says- of course Megumi is right. "But still, what you were tryna do is a dick move. Thought you wouldn't go that far."

"Well, I'm sorry." Eishi sits on the frame of his couch. "She came to me, she looked beaten… What was I supposed to do when all I wanted to do everytime I see her is…"

Souma waits for that answer. He wants him to say it. He knew his suspicion is right, and then he can finally punch him in the face, but it's as if something is choking him that the words just don't come out.

"Just… forget it." He sighs. "But what you did to her is no better. How could you let her wander around like that?"

"It's complicated. You wouldn't get it."

At his brief answer, Eishi curls his lip for a while. His eyes darts to the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the table.

"You know, Yukihira. I'm an idiot." The white haired male finally decided to pour himself a glass, "But you're even more of an idiot if you think I wouldn't get it."

"What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Drink?"

That really isn't what he's asking (plus, he's planning on keeping his kidney), "Nah, I'm good."

"Okay, ah… I'm not sure if you really want to hear about this, but uh… when Erina and I dated, I've never felt so completed. I have flaws, which she gracefully accepted. We had a great time and a meaningful relationship at the same-"

"Aight, senpai. I don't think bragging's gonna help."

"No, no. Just hear me out first." He takes a short pause to drink. "But I- I took her for granted nearing the end. I was always busy, cancelled a lot on our dates because I thought I needed those Michelin stars. Hell, I wasn't even being supportive when she told me her decision to accept your shokugeki. Of course, she eventually grew tired of me, and I couldn't blame her for it, so when she broke things off with me, I accepted."

Erina did tell him briefly about the reason she ended things with him, but never in his life he thought he'd be hearing this from Eishi's point of view. And just when he thought that is all he wants to say, he continues.

"Days went by, months just flew like that, yet I never gotten over her, so one night, I asked her if she wanted to take me back, but… she's moved on. She was in that same place when I was so hooked on my career and abandoning her. It was too late for me and I knew I blew it."

Normally, he's not a good listener to a long, sappy stories like these (heck, some people have called him out for it), but for some reason, with the pain ringing through every word he says, his hearing has seems to intensify.

"And now she found you." Eishi then chuckles ironically, "Well, she never really lost feelings for you even then, but uh… can I give you a piece of advice?"

His question jolts him up. "Um sure, I guess?"

"Don't… end up where I am right now."

"Huh?"

"She seems to really love you." That sad smile of his emerges again, "Don't you ever give up on her, Yukihira."

Coming from him, not only it knocks on him, but it also opens his eyes to a worse outcome if he ever does give up on her.

He could end up like him. He let her go once, and he's no longer the grande, 4-Michelin-star guy he always sees him as. In front of him is a broken man, full of regret, which biggest fear always haunts him in the back of his mind.

"Whatever problems you're going through with her may not be easy, but if you're willing to change her mind little by little each day, it'll be worth it. Trust me."

"But why the hell are you telling me all these things?"

When his curiosity comes out, Eishi only answers simply, "Because you make her happier than I ever did."

"Why so sure about that?"

"I just know." Then his eyes wander off, "It pains me that it's not me, but I want her to be happy, so I… I'm gonna finally let her go."

Souma doesn't say anything after that, and as if Eishi takes it as a confirmation that he's settled on what he wants, he swallows all his pride and give Souma one last inch of strength he has to let go of what he's been holding onto with another smile that doesn't reach his ears.

"Take good care of her for me, Yukihira."

So with those last words, Souma rises to his feet and double pat his shoulder on his way out.

He's coming home.

 **»»-¤-««**

 **A/N:** _ABOUT DAMN TIME, SOUMA._

 _Do stay tuned for next week's chapter as we see our babies reunited again. Sound off in the review about what you think (or what would happen when they meet again). Be civil please x_

 _Thanks MartengaPop for the light. Love u mwah!_

 _-MA_


	7. Your Cascading Light

**A/N:** _This chapter is why the story's M-rated. You've been warned ;)_

* * *

 **VII.  
ERINA**

* * *

 _Is this what it feels to be truly broken?_

She asks herself the same question the past two days every time that pang in her chest hits her, and it intensifies every time she finds herself alone in a room. Like now when she walks into his home after a long day of work, and not finding him there for these last couple of days.

No- during the day where she's all drowning in her work, she would try her hardest not to show that her mind and heart is troubled, but it's not that her surrounding hasn't noticed anything with her constant change of mood and her frustrated scream for minor mistakes.

It's supposed to be her favorite time of the day, but now, when no one can see her at her most fragile state, she lets herself drown in a pool of sorrow as the cold shower washes her from head to toe.

Yes- she's given up telling herself to stop sobbing, so when her legs is weakening, she lets her body melds with the cold tiles.

 _This is better_. If she cries when a heavier stream of water flows down her face, her tears won't be visible even to her. Let alone to him that is now far away from her.

But little did she know, he's already there. Breathing the same cold air as her. Watching her flawless back at her most vulnerable state, and it kills him that he's made her like that.

And now, nothing can stop him from holding her. No ex, no problems haunting his mind anymore. Just him following his guts and his natural instinct to be close to her, so after he discards the layers of clothing that clothe him, he lets the gentle droplets of water soak his skin when he wraps his arm around her trembling body.

That feeling, to her, is almost like a hallucination. Her mind keeps telling her to snap out of it. _No, Erina- this can't be real._

But this feeling, this warmth… is too familiar to be a mere thought.

"Had your dinner yet?"

 _That question. That voice._

She looks down and she finds those intimate hands on her. It really _is_ him.

"You…" Her voice is as shaky as a leaf in the wind, "You're home late."

"Yeah, sorry, ah," He kisses her bare shoulder, "There was a problem in the kitchen."

"W-Well next time don't keep me waiting. I'm… I'm sleepy."

That is as hard as she can try to shield herself from letting her actual feeling to rise to the surface, but she knows if he says anything beyond their seemingly usual conversation, her strength will be easily shaken.

"Nakiri, when's the last time you eat?"

She can't remember. He must have noticed her bones that probably almost escape her back. And he hates it if she forgets to eat.

Oh no, he's going to run again. No… she's going to start crying again.

"I… I'm sorry, Souma…" Erina turns slowly and meets his chest. "Please…"

"Hey, what are you sorry for? I'm just asking about meals here."

So here she is- sobbing uncontrollably. Her walls have come down and she's wearing all her emotions and fears out to him. Their wet skin collides, but there is nothing sensual about it. It's her at her weakest point, and him finally here, recognizing it.

"I thought you… you're not coming back…"

"What're you on about? 'Course I am. Did you forget it's my house?"

At that, she's not sure of what to do but to throw frustrated punches to his chest, "No… why do you have make things all about you?! Why do you never understand me? Why-"

"Ssshhh, hey. You're overthinking again." Souma pulls her back into his chest and give her hair gentle caresses, "It's all good, aight? I'm sorry too. For everything."

Within his hug, she gets a chance to calm herself. Listening to his heartbeat with a lingering residue of his body spray that she always complains about. But with his hand combing her hair this gently, it finally sinks that he really is here to stay, and her worries are slowly washing away with the water.

"I broke your heart, didn't I?" She breathes.

"So did I." Souma cups her face this time, "But I think we all know we'll always find our way back to each other, right?"

"Then what about the-"

She's not sure how he always managed to do it, but when he suddenly cups her face and seal her lips with a kiss, to Erina, it always feels like the first time. It keeps taking her by surprise, it's always toe-curling, and it always reassure her that no matter her flaws, he will always be there and keep her feeling secure.

And as always, after it ends, he will always leaves her completely stunned. Like the feeling of him is still vaguely intact, but there he stands- smiling softly as he keeps her features close to his.

"Y'know I love you, right?"

"And I you." She nods before kissing him once again, "More than you know."

"You trust me?"

"Yes." Erina means it.

"Good. 'Cause I trust you too, Nakiri."

At that, she's skeptical. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Souma confirms, "So trust me when I say you'll come around."

"But can you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Don't ever leave me again. You have to wait for me."

He chuckles, but for some unexplainable reasons, Erina feels a strange wave of relief seeing that brightening, cheeky features of his.

"Did Nakiri just beg?"

She frowns when he calls her out on it, so throwing a light punch at his chest feels necessary. "Yukihira, I'm not joking."

"I know." Souma presses their noses together, "And y'know I never make the same mistake twice, eh?"

It's actually arguable. She plans on bringing up all the stupid things he did repeatedly in high school, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't think he's not dangerously enticing at this distance.

So when Erina obeys their physical closeness and devours his lips, she feels Souma reciprocating her passion as she tangles her fingers through his red hair and him tracing her bare back with the tip of his fingers. The whimper escaping her mouth sure can't be held back when his craveable tongue slides into her.

Every second that passed by with that lips on her, every strokes he plants through every inch of her skin, and every drop of water that lands on their bodies, the fire inside her burns her more in an unbelievably orgasmic way, and she only gets higher in bliss when he drags his lips down to the junction of her neck and embeds a stingingly addictive love bite there.

She tilts her head to give him as much access. She knows she craves more of him when his palm smoothly cups her butt, and it just feels good to arch her back as he trails his tongue further down her body to clamp a nipple between his teeth.

"D-Don't stop now okay…" She mewls.

Not long amidst her utopia, she finds his mouth climbing back up to her shoulder, before finally harboring it back to her lips and leaving her a kiss long enough for it to linger for hours.

And then he releases himself.

"W-Why did you stop?" Erina asks, not trying to hide her disappointment.

"You must be on some good shit to think that I'd do you before I feed you." He retorts as he steps out of the shower, "Just wait and see what I'll make this time, Nakiri. You won't be able to stop that it'll put the meat back inside you."

"B-But you're already-"

"Like I'd have a problem getting it up again." He snorts, wrapping a towel around his waist. "With you? Never."

She shakes her head at his arrogance. Not sure if it's supposed to be flattering. "You're still a boastful idiot, you know?"

"And guess which idiot who doesn't want this idiot to leave?"

And about that, he's kind of right.

 **»»-¤-««**

 **A/N:** _Don't go anywhere just yet! This is not the last chapter! Epilogue next week! But yes, this story's finally coming to an end._

 _And if you would do me a small favor (besides reviewing), I published Akai Ito and Late Night Lullabies on this site called Sweek, it would be so kind of you if you would give it a like and follow to those stories! Here is the link to my Sweek profile: /profile/833333/74088_

 _Please let me know if you have, and I will gladly return the favor of maybe following you here or on Tumblr, reviewing to your stories, etc. :)_

 _Anywaaay, s/o to my ride or die MartengaPop. We spent quite some time on that one Souma's line xD_


	8. Snowflake

_**A/N:** Publishing the last chapter early since I'll be out of town for the weekend. Hope y'all enjoy this as a Friday night snack ;) _

* * *

**VIII.  
epilogue**

* * *

Ever since that day, Souma never talks about children or the fact that he wants a family of his own. They go through day by day as if that fight never happened. They still challenge each other, tease each other, and love each other all at the same time.

And it only came to her thoughts after he proposed during their trip to Paris.

But what he always does is showing his affection towards children everywhere he sees one. He would ignore Erina for the rest of a party to play with one of the guests' little boy or doing one of those Yukihira charities for that one orphanage in Tokyo he always goes to every Christmas Eve and shower them with toys and his cooking.

And this year, Souma insisted Erina to ditch the Nakiri Group annual Christmas Eve party to come with him to the orphanage.

"I put a ring on your finger and you still don't want to spend Christmas Eve with me? Some fiancee you are, Nakiri."

Of course she detected that sarcasm of his, but she also knew he was serious, so that's how Erina ends up in the middle of this small, dinty dining room, scooping some beef curry to plates after plates for the happy children along with other volunteers.

But this actually doesn't feel bad. At all.

Erina loves how this place (that's always been depressing in her head) brings so much joy to her heart. The squeals of delight and excited frenzy in the multifunction room is even more present once gift wrappers are thrown around the room because of the toys they get from them (Yes, Soma and Erina shopped for the toys themselves). Even a 4-year-old girl keep thanking Erina for the Barbie doll she picked and refuses to let go of her the entire night.

Not even when Souma introduced her as "my friend Erina", and one of the children instantly jumped and yelped, "No, they are engaged! I saw it on the news!".

 _These kids nowadays._

Though that compassion side of him did come out once again when he read them the classic tale of _Nutcracker_ in the middle of the room. She never thought she'd see this side of Souma, and she welcomes those flowers that are growing in her heart, happily, and there's no denying to it.

"So… what do you think?" Souma asks her by the time they cool down beneath the Christmas tree and most of the children have gone back to their rooms.

"What do you mean?"

"Y'know, it's your first time here. And I know it could probably get too chaotic for you especially during dinner and when they-"

Erina places her hand on his thigh, "I enjoyed it very much, Yukihira. Thank you."

And she means it- she actually thinks this is the best Christmas she's ever had so far. Especially now when Michael Bublé's version of _All I Want For Christmas Is You_ echoes softly through the dimmed room. For some reason, the smile Souma offers says that he knew it all along.

"Well, Chiyo seems to really like you." He refers to the little girl who's been on Erina's tail all night, but is now asleep on her lap.

"Maybe it's the dog Snapchat filter." She shrugs, but never stopping the gentle brushes along the strands of her brown hair.

"No, seriously. You're so good with 'em." He chuckles, "The only time your haughty side doesn't jump out."

"What? I-I don't have a haughty side anymore! What are you talking-"

"Sssshh, you'll wake her up, y'know." Souma whispers, grinning at the same time. "You think I don't know what your cooks have been saying 'bout ya?"

She lowers her voice this time, but still ever so demanding, "W-Well that is a completely different situation! I am running a kitchen, for crying out loud!"

"Geez, Nakiri. Relax. It's not like I'm gonna leave you if you're being haughty again."

"What?! Th-That's not what-"

"Sssh!"

"Hey, do not shush me!"

"Sssh!" Souma does it once again.

"That is seriously annoying, Yukihira!"

"Then don't make me kiss ya in front of all these kids."

 _Like hell she would!_ "Hmph, you are seriously infuriating. I'm blaming myself for thinking that it's your high school phase only."

"And yet here you are all set to take me as your husband." He takes a hold of her hand and kisses the Cartier ring gracing her finger, which causes her eyes to roll at his giggle.

It's when he says nothing anymore she really takes in her surrounding. With her head resting on his shoulder, the almost broken heater is starting to take a toll on the chill that's seeping into her cashmere sweater, but strangely, she feels warm.

It may be the sleeping Chiyo and the remaining 4 children in the room that are distracted by their toys and their smiles, or it may be the little Christmas light that twinkles ever so beautifully, or the little specks of snow that decorates the window in such ethereal order.

But she's pretty sure it's the person next to her, when she catches him stealing loving glances at her when she thought his gaze is somewhere else. Souma- he never ceases to bring that blush back to her cheek like it's the first time.

"I-Is something wrong?" She finally asks, lifting her face from his shoulder.

"Nah it's just uh-" He pauses, seemingly having a debate with himself, "I planned to give you your gift tomorrow morning, but here ya go."

Erina receives the small, neatly wrapped package. It's bendable- almost foldable, and it gets her thinking if this thing was on her wishlist she gave him a while ago.

"What is this, Yukihira-kun?"

"Open 'em." He says.

So she tears the paper slowly, trying not to wake Chiyo up in the process. When it's finally free, her mouth hangs open because of what she's holding gently in her hands, and the dots have finally connected on why she hasn't seen this white cloth on him for a few days.

"Y-Yukihira, you cannot give this to me…"

Yes- Yukihira Souma has given her his signature headband. And words cannot describe how she can even cope with the idea.

"Why?" He asks.

"B-Because this means too much to you. I-I mean this once belonged to your mother and I just can't easily-"

"Sure you can, and I want you to have it." He reaches out and rests his hand on hers, and then he offers her one of those looks on his face everytime he talks about his mother. "I'm sure mom would've wanted you to too."

She stares at it again, still mesmerized by the softness and the stories behind it. Even just thinking about it, and now that Souma has given her the only thing he holds onto him closer than life itself, fills her eyes with tears.

"Y'know you don't have to put it on ya the whole time like I did, eh?" He reminds her.

Erina knows he means it since he used to carry it literally everywhere, so it only feels natural when her heart tells her to tie the cloth around her head and tuck the bow under her long, honey blonde hair, just like what she's doing now.

And it feels… fulfilling.

"Is this looking alright for everyday look?"

He eyes the top of her head, trailing down to her chin, then giving her that sheepish smile she cherishes. She knows he didn't expect her reaction with that slight redness on his cheek.

Oh, if only he knew this won't be the last time she'd left him speechless. Why she was missing for a good 30 minutes during their toy shopping trip, or the fact that a sky blue box is already waiting for him on his side of the bed.

And that little baby onesie inside it will be the only thing that speaks to him.

"Merry Christmas, Erina."

"Merry Christmas too, Souma."

 **»»-¤-««**

 _ **A/N:**_ _*in case y'all are wondering, the onesie says "Let's do it!"_

 _And wow oh wow! Thank you so much to those who has been supporting me from the beginning of this short series until the end. Thank you for all the love because it really means a lot for me to be able to express my love for this ship and receive some sort of validation that my stories are really worth reading. Thank you for your time to leave reviews, and for reblogging, liking, commenting this on Tumblr. I hope you've been enjoying Akai Ito and its little universe and I'll hope to see you all again on my next stories!_

 _-MA_


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